Monday, February 26, 2007

A Ground for Contempt

In a small town where everyone knows everyone, a trial is taking place. The prosecuting attorney calls his first witness to the stand--an elderly woman. He then proceeded to ask her:

PROSECUTOR: Mrs. Callaway, do you know me?

WITNESS: Why? Yes, I know you Mr. Henry. I've known you since you were a kid and quite frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people. You think you're somebody when you don't have the brains to realize that you will never amount to anything. Yes, I know you!

The lawyer was caught off-guard and never knowing what to do, he pointed across the room and asks.

PROSECUTOR: Well, Mrs. Callaway, do you know the defense lawyer?

WITNESS: Why? Yes I do. I've known Mr. Grammer since he was a little boy too. He is a bigot, a lazy bastard, and a drunkard. He is not capable of relating to anyone and his law practice is one of the worst things that happened to this little town. Yes, I know him, in fact, I know that he cheated on his wife, slept with several women, one of whom was your wife.

Both the defense and prosecuting attorneys turned red and almost fainted.

Immediately, the judge asks both counsels to approach the bench, and with a very stern warning addressed the lawyers privately saying:

JUDGE: If any of you, morons, ever asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you out of this court for contempt!