Short-Term Memory

Three wives were talking to each other about the dilemma of getting old.

WIFE1: I don't mind getting old but the older I get the harder it is for me to remember certain things. Can you imagine, sometimes I put my dentures in the freezer and just as when I take some ice cubes I end up taking my dentures as well such that both the ice cubes and my dentures end up floating in my glass.

WIFE2: Well I don't think that's as bad as what I go through. You know, whenever I take the stairs, as soon as I reach the middle portion of the staircase I forget which way I am headed, whether upstairs or downstairs.

(The third wife proudly shared her story.)

WIFE3: Oh, thank God! I'm so not like the two of you. Even if I'm already in my 50s I still can remember things clearly, and I have to knock on wood for that. God forbid, I will not be as forgetful as the two of you, anytime soon.

(She did the gesture of knocking on wood, as if warding off some bad jinx from happening to her all too soon. Then the she calmly said...)

WIFE3: Wait a minute, would you mind excusing me? I have to get the door. Someone's knocking!

A Little Distasteful But Funny

I was watching the Sopranos last week and they featured these jokes in some of the scenes. The jokes are short, a little distasteful, but have a really catching punch line. Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone here. These jokes are solely meant to entertain, and not to discriminate any particular sect of society. If you are easily offended feel free to leave this page now.

Joke1: A guy came home one night with a bouquet of flowers and as soon as the wife opened the door, she said, "Guess I have to spread my legs tonight!" And the husband replied, "Why? You don't have a vase?"

Joke2: A blind man passes by a fish market every morning, and do you know what he says everytime? "Hello ladies!"

Joke3: A gay couple decided to do artificial insemination using a surrogate mother. Nine months later, the baby was born. They went to the nursery and all the babies were crying, except for one baby, and they thought, "That must be our baby right there!" The nurse came and said, "Yeah, right! Wait till you get the pacifier out of his ass!"